wellness

Why It Feels Impossible & Simple Strategies That Actually Work Understanding the psychology of lifestyle changes during the transformative journey of early motherhood When Everything Changes, Including You Becoming a mother is arguably the most profound physical, emotional, and mental transformation you'll ever experience. Your body becomes the literal gateway to new life, and in the aftermath, you're navigating an entirely new identity while caring for a completely dependent being whose needs are as unpredictable as they are urgent. If you've found yourself struggling to maintain healthy habits—or even basic self-care—during those early months (or years) of motherhood, you're not experiencing a personal failing. You're experiencing the very real psychological and physiological challenges that come with one of life's most significant transitions. Today, we're diving into the science behind why healthy lifestyle changes feel so monumentally difficult during early motherhood, and more importantly, how understanding this science can help you build sustainable habits that work with your new reality, not against it. The Perfect Storm: Why Motherhood Disrupts Our Ability to Build Habits The Neuroscience of Habit Formation vs. Maternal Brain Changes From a neuroscientific perspective, habit formation relies on consistent neural pathways in the basal ganglia—the part of our brain responsible for automatic behaviors. Under normal circumstances, it takes approximately 66 days of consistent repetition for a new behavior to become automatic, though this can range from 18 to 254 days depending on the complexity of the habit and individual factors. However, the maternal brain undergoes dramatic changes during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Research shows that gray matter volume decreases in areas responsible for social cognition, while neural plasticity increases to help mothers bond with and respond to their babies. These changes, while evolutionarily advantageous for infant care, can make it challenging to maintain the cognitive resources needed for consistent habit formation. The reality: Your brain is literally rewiring itself to prioritize your baby's needs over your own. This isn't a character flaw—it's biology working exactly as it should. The Motivation-Habit Loop: When Survival Mode Interrupts Progress Positive psychology research identifies three key components for successful lifestyle changes: Clear motivation (your "why") Consistent environmental cues Immediate rewards that reinforce the behavior Early motherhood disrupts all three of these components simultaneously: Motivation becomes fragmented: While you may intellectually know that exercise and proper nutrition are important, your immediate motivation is often simply survival—getting through the next feeding, the next sleepless night, the next crying episode. Environmental cues become unpredictable: Babies don't follow schedules, especially in the first year. The environmental consistency needed for habit formation is constantly shifting. Rewards feel delayed or absent: The benefits of healthy habits—increased energy, better mood, improved health—often take weeks or months to manifest, while the immediate reward of rest or convenience feels more pressing. The Science of Small Wins: Working With Your New Reality Micro-Habits: The Gateway to Sustainable Change Research by behavior scientist BJ Fogg at Stanford University shows that the most sustainable habit changes start incredibly small—so small they feel almost trivial. This approach is particularly powerful for new mothers because it works around, rather than against, the constraints of unpredictable schedules and limited cognitive resources. The key principle: Start with habits so small that you can do them even on your worst days. Examples of micro-habits for new mothers: Drinking one glass of water upon waking Doing five deep breaths before feeding sessions Eating one piece of fruit with breakfast Stretching for two minutes while baby has tummy time Walking to the mailbox Doing 1, 10-min video every day at about the same time The Power of Habit Stacking Habit stacking, a concept popularized by James Clear, involves attaching new habits to existing routines. For new mothers, this means identifying the few consistent elements in your day and building around them. Formula: After I [existing habit], I will [new micro-habit]. Examples: After I change baby's diaper, I will do five squats After I start a load of laundry, I will eat an apple After I put baby down for a nap, I will write down one thing I'm grateful for Check out RM HEAL, scheduled and structured progressive body care and workouts. Understanding the Timeline: Patience with the Process Realistic Expectations for Maternal Habit Formation While general research suggests 66 days for habit formation, the reality for new mothers is more complex. Several factors extend this timeline: Sleep deprivation affects decision-making and willpower Hormonal fluctuations impact motivation and energy levels Schedule unpredictability disrupts consistency requirements Cognitive load—mental resources are already stretched thin A more realistic timeline for new mothers: 3-6 months for simple habits to feel automatic, with the understanding that there will be interruptions and restarts along the way. The Non-Linear Nature of Progress Traditional habit formation models assume linear progress, but maternal habit formation is inherently non-linear. You might maintain a habit for two weeks, then have it completely disrupted by a sleep regression, growth spurt, or illness. This isn't failure—it's the reality of motherhood. Reframe: Think of habit formation as developing flexibility and resilience, not perfect consistency. Pre-empting the Pitfalls: Common Obstacles and Evidence-Based Solutions Pitfall #1: The All-or-Nothing Mindset The trap: "If I can't work out for 45 minutes, why bother with 10 minutes?" The science: Research shows that even brief exercise sessions (as short as 10 minutes) provide significant mental health benefits, including reduced anxiety and improved mood—exactly what new mothers need most. The solution: Embrace "good enough" as genuinely good. Movement is movement. Nutrition is about progress, not perfection. Pitfall #2: Comparison and Social Media Pressure The trap: Comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to other mothers' highlight reels. The science: Social comparison theory shows that upward social comparisons (comparing yourself to those you perceive as better off) consistently decrease well-being and motivation. The solution: Curate your social media carefully and focus on your own progress markers. Pitfall #3: Perfectionist Paralysis The trap: Waiting for the "perfect" time or circumstances to start healthy habits. The science: Research on implementation intentions shows that people who plan for obstacles and imperfect conditions are significantly more successful at maintaining new behaviors. The solution: Plan for imperfection. Decide in advance what you'll do when things don't go as planned. The Incremental Approach: Starting Where You Are Week 1-2: Assessment and Foundation Track your current patterns without trying to change them Identify your highest-energy time of day (even if it's just 15 minutes) Choose ONE micro-habit to begin Week 3-6: Building Consistency Focus on your chosen micro-habit daily Add environmental cues to support the habit Celebrate small wins consistently Week 7-12: Gradual Expansion Once your first habit feels automatic, consider adding a second Begin connecting habits to create beneficial chains Adjust expectations based on your baby's developmental changes The Long Game: Why Self-Care Isn't Selfish The Ripple Effect of Maternal Well-being Research consistently shows that maternal mental and physical health directly impacts: Child emotional regulation Family stress levels Long-term relationship satisfaction Overall family resilience The truth: Taking care of yourself isn't taking away from your family—it's investing in your family's long-term well-being. Understanding how to build functional strength postpartum helps you create sustainable fitness habits. And when you're juggling the mental load alongside physical recovery, you're not alone—managing the invisible load of motherhood is part of every mother's journey. Building Antifragility Through Healthy Habits Antifragility, a concept from Nassim Taleb, refers to systems that get stronger from stress and volatility. By building sustainable healthy habits during the challenging early years of motherhood, you're not just surviving—you're developing the tools to thrive amidst the beautiful chaos of raising children. Moving Forward: Your Next Steps Remember that becoming a mother is not just about caring for a new life—it's about honoring the transformation happening within yourself. Your body, mind, and spirit are all adapting to this new role, and they deserve the same patient, nurturing care you give your child. The science is clear: small, consistent changes compound over time. The key is starting where you are, with what you have, for as long as you can manage. Some days that might be a five-minute walk; other days it might simply be drinking an extra glass of water. Both matter. Both count. Your challenge this week: Choose one micro-habit that feels almost too easy to fail at. Commit to it for seven days and notice how it feels to keep a promise to yourself, even a small one. Continue Your Journey Ready to dive deeper? Explore more ways to thrive in motherhood: Managing the Invisible Load of Motherhood - Balance the mental and emotional demands alongside your physical health Building Muscle: A Lifetime Adventure - Understanding postpartum strength from the inside out The Rewrite: A Journey of Motherhood - Join the honest conversation about modern motherhood

6 Ways to Stay Balanced Through the Holidays Welcome to our guest blog contributor, Taylor Fazio, RD, CDN, SPN from The Lanby: Taylor is a Registered Dietitian and Specialist in Prenatal Nutrition who works with individuals to build sustainable habits that support long-term health and well-being. The holiday season can feel like a whirlwind of celebrations, rich meals, disrupted schedules, and shifting routines. Many people bounce between joyful indulgence and the sense that their habits have been tossed aside. The days between Christmas and the New Year often become an especially hazy stretch where sleep, structure, and self-care slip away. But you don’t have to live in the extremes just because of the celebratory season. One of the most effective ways to stay steady is to use how you feel as your internal guide. I often refer to Shira Barlow RD’s line because it simplifies this beautifully: "Everything is on the table, not everything is worth it." You have full autonomy, and nothing is off-limits. The goal is to anchor your choices in how you want to feel rather than reacting to pressure, impulse, or being swept up in holiday momentum. Below are six simple, practical ways to bring that intention into your daily life this season: Check in with yourself before you commit Pause for a brief moment before eating, drinking, or agreeing to an activity. Notice if you are hungry, thirsty, tired, overwhelmed, or craving connection. This helps you choose from awareness instead of autopilot. Decide on your non-negotiablesPick 2 or 3 habits that keep you balanced and make those your priority. This might be a morning hydration routine, a daily walk, a short breathwork session, or protecting your sleep window. Let those hold steady while everything else flexes with the season. This isn’t about rigidity; it's an act of self-love. Eat for stability and enjoymentAvoid restricting early in the day in anticipation of a larger meal. Trust me, it almost always backfires. Build balanced meals with protein, fiber, and fat earlier in the day so you enter gatherings with stable energy. You will enjoy holiday foods more and recover more easily afterward. Most events follow a predictable pattern of long stretches of appetizers before any main meal. Arriving in a grounded state helps you enjoy the occasion without relying on small bites to create satiety. Use tomorrow’s energy as your reference point for alcoholIf you want a drink, have it. When deciding about the next one, ask how you want to feel the next morning. Your answer will guide you clearly without judgment. For some people, setting an overall drink limit for an event or a week offers supportive structure without feeling restrictive. Move to regulate your system, not to compensateShort, functional workouts [1] do more for your energy and mood than trying to offset indulgence. Ten minutes of strength[2] , mobility[3] , or core[4]  activation can recalibrate you quickly and sustainably. I often say, you never regret moving your body. Taking a beat from the ongoings of this time of year and creating space for yourself feels so good afterward. Dedicated time is always worth it. Honor meaningful ritualsSome foods and traditions carry emotional and generational weight. If your grandmother’s holiday cookies bring comfort, connection, and memory, that is meaningful nourishment. Thinking about the sugar content or calorie value is not the point. Enjoy these moments (and I hope always) without any guilt. Finding balance during the holidays is less about discipline and more about alignment. When your choices reflect how you want to feel, the season stays joyful without leaving you depleted. At The Lanby, our team works with members to build evidence-informed habits that support resilience, stability, and long term well-being. If you are looking for more personalized guidance, our integrative approach pairs seamlessly with movement based foundations like those cultivated at Revolution Motherhood. My hope is that these tools help you step into the New Year feeling grounded, connected, and fully empowered with your choices. Happy holidays! link to https://ondemand.revolutionmotherhood.com/browse https://ondemand.revolutionmotherhood.com/videos/new-booty-shred-12-min https://ondemand.revolutionmotherhood.com/videos/yoga-anytime-12-min https://ondemand.revolutionmotherhood.com/ab-shred/videos/new-ab-shred-12-min

 It’s Not You. It’s Not Him. It’s Biology.  *Disclaimer: I celebrate all gender identities and what I am about to say is intended to inspire and make you laugh with your partner. It’s okay if what I share is not true for you and your marriage…these are just my thoughts and reflections. One of the greatest gifts of working with moms in-person is the conversations we have!  Over the years, one topic has been a constant and common thread in EVERY conversation: how we, the moms, think about, plan and anticipate daily life is 180-degrees different from our partners. And the most striking part is that every mom's story about how her partner thinks is almost identical—yes, even for Ken and I.  Early on in my mothering journey, I attended a lecture at my daughters' school. With my little one asleep on my chest, I sat and listened to a talk that ultimately changed my life.  Entitled, “The Overwhelm of Boys,” delivered by Kim John Payne.  I went expecting to learn more about raising my children, and instead, I walked away with a shifted understanding of my husband. As I made my way home, I called him at the restaurant where he was pushing out a Friday-night dinner service (we often joke about the number of times I’ve done this over the years!). I simply said, ‘I’m so sorry I have talked over you all of these years—I understand now that you need more time and space to think.”  There was total silence on the other end of the phone while the clatter of the restaurant echoed in the background and then a quiet, “thank you.” I got to thinking…what if we put these truths out in the open? We could understand one another better, communicate more effectively, and co-parenting can actually become fun! So, here are the not-so-secret secrets we all need to acknowledge and grow with:   Men and women are fundamentally different creatures with every respect for self-identity and gender identity. Acknowledging our differences helps us learn, grow, and lean into each other’s strengths.   Men think linearly. Women think circularly. And moms multitask like bad asses. We anticipate needs, we see the laundry, read the emails, catch the falling cup, and bounce the baby with one hand. In my experience, our brains almost function better in this arena—we just become more efficient when we have babies.   By contrast, male brains begin to smoke if you ask them to operate like this.  Men focus on singular tasks, but they DO the task all the way through until it has a bow on top. And, here’s the kicker…they won’t see or think about anything else while they are focused on said task. Meaning, the toys scattered across the living room, the dishes in the sink, the dinner that needs to be prepped…they are not pre-wired to see more than what they are doing. They can learn, but that is a relationship and co-habitational skill that you develop together.   One of the biggest pitfalls of marriage post-babies is that we are both overwhelmed and wanting the other person to think about all the needs of the home and family the way we do. When the other person doesn’t show up the way we expect, we slip into blame, which leads nowhere but down.   Divide and conquer based on your strengths, not what is “fair.”  Most dads (like Ken) feel great accomplishment and a sense of deep self-value through the completion of a project. Most moms (including myself) are planning and creating the environment of our home and how each system will best meet our daily family needs.  Our winning solution? I plan the systems and Ken executes them. For example, new shelves for the girls’ closet that will better fit their bigger clothes and storage needs—I envision it, describe it, shop for it, he makes it happen. No fighting. I plan it. He builds it. It works.  Moms talk it out. Dads need quiet…in order to process their feelings. I call it “downloading” to Ken. It took him YEARS to be able to sit with me while I unleashed the workings of my brain and not get overwhelmed or try to fix everything.   Conversely, it took me YEARS to learn that when I talk at this pace and breadth, he needs hours to silently process everything. He will ultimately come back with a really supportive and insightful response,  but only if I give him the quiet time he needs to get there. The faster we talk at the dads, the quicker their brains shut down their verbal center.  They literally can't form a sentence. And, when they are quiet, what do we do?  We talk more and faster at them because we process this way. They really need quiet space to get their thoughts together and form a response. Learn reflective listening: It saved our marriage, truly. Fried mom and dad brains do not process accurately, which makes for sticky relationship communication. Reflective listening is when your partner is speaking about something, you simply repeat back what you have just heard. Literally, “ I am hearing you say ______.”  And then, you check, “Is this accurate?” This technique slows everything down and makes sure you are hearing each other correctly. It cuts down so much frustration. Prioritize each other’s need for friend time: Men need to be with men just as much as women need to be other women. But, when men become fathers, there is less social support for them in this area, especially if you don’t live close to where you both grew up or have family close by.   I put all of my weight and support behind Ken spending untethered alone time with his friends doing dude-like things that I honestly would never want to do—flying in his friend’s tiny plane, sleeping in a hammock on the beach without a shower for two days or even scrubbing the deck of a boat. In return, he puts his full weight and support behind my moms’ night out for guacamole and margaritas, where we get to talk as fast and on as many different subjects as our spinning mom-brains can cover…and no one gets overwhelmed. It’s like 6 months worth of mom-talk therapy rolled into one night! At the end of the day, embrace and love the differences. They are your mutual and complementary strengths—you can both thrive in parenthood, marriage, and play with each other’s patterns instead of struggling over them. When the wheels start to come off, lead with curiosity and give each other the benefit of the doubt …and always remember, you’re both doing your best! x  

POP can occur at any stage of life from childbirth to menopause.  This guide will help you understand what pelvic organ prolapse is, why it happens, and most importantly, how to chart your full recovery. 

When it comes to menopause, the information age is opening up our collective conversation, but the confusion for most women persists.  This blog is a deep dive into the science of menopause and full of science backed tools for you to thrive for longevity.

A silent risk to women’s health as we age, especially as we approach menopause, is declining bone density. Here's what you need to know about osteoporosis and a lifestyle guide to prevention and strength.

A practical, fun + realistic guide to nutritious meal planning for all stages of motherhood.

Moms are no strangers to muscle aches, especially during summer vacation. If your body’s feeling the strain, you don't have to brave it alone. The daily exercises in this article are designed to ease tension, prevent injuries, and help you rebuild strength where you need it most.

There is always that nagging voice in the back of your mind asking, “what has happened to me?” 

The relationship with yourself is the foundation of all others. Motherhood comes with so much pressure—to always be happy and grateful for your family, to have a perfect marriage where you're best friends, co-parents, and still have amazing intimacy. You’re expected to stay fit and healthy, have a fulfilling career, and somehow be a present, patient, and playful mom. It’s even more intense during postpartum recovery, when we prioritize our baby’s needs over out own. The list goes on and ON! The truth is, most of us do live some version of this ideal—we love our families and are deeply grateful for them. We cherish being moms, and for the most part, our marriages are healthy and happy, with varying levels of intimacy. But here's the thing: we are human. And in our humanity, we carry an emotional landscape that colors all of these external expectations. These 'checklist' items, which on the surface define our lives as 'successful,' don't capture the complexity of our experience. Intimacy and sex are layered with innuendo, red hearts, and lingerie…throughout the month of February. Over the past few weeks I’ve been adding my spin on this Valentine’s theme, writing about all aspects of intimacy, and I guess in many ways, I’ve been building up to the punchline… Intimacy with yourself is the most important relationship you have. And, it’s the most challenging once you become a mom, because that kind of stillness with your own mind and body just doesn’t exist anymore.   The early years of parenthood are a gauntlet of resilience and pivoting—a constant flow of identifying, planning, and then re-prioritizing how everyone’s needs will be met. And, organically the mom’s needs slip to the bottom a lot of the time. I wrote a piece recently on how to actually be a supportive partner to a new mom (you can read it here), but the reality is that you will run depleted of emotional resources for a long time.  Here’s the catch 22: if you totally ignore yourself for this stretch of parenthood, you will land in a pretty dark place, pretty quickly We’ve been told this before—we all know it and science knows it. We have heard the abundant advice that, “caring for yourself is caring for your children,” but that’s just not always true. At dinnertime, you don’t sit down and tend to your personal mountain of stress that desperately needs to be processed. You walk into the kitchen and figure out dinner for your hungry family. And when your baby is crying and your back is locking as you bend over the crib, you pick up your child and comfort them even if the pain knocks the wind out of you.   I think that’s the biggest blind spot for all of us moms. We are so focused on staying positive—on being patient and sidelining our unmet needs that whole years slip by before we notice ourselves and then, we don’t recognize anything about who we’ve become.     So, what would emotional intimacy with ourselves look like if we were to re-design it for the years of motherhood when we often come second (or last) on the priority list? Discipline your monkey mind. It’s okay that your mind takes you to crazy, conflicting places. Parent yourself. In a quiet moment, ask yourself, “what do I need to hear most when I’m feeling out of control?”  A simple, loving statement to re-caste your thoughts.  For example, mine is “I love myself.” I just start repeating it in my mind until whatever thought stream that had been running becomes quiet.  Notice your body. We are 100% conditioned to ignore the body-temple we live in. But your body is your entire reality. It is where your mind lives and what gives rise to your emotions and allows you to self-soothe and thrive. I’m not talking about being a monk and meditating all the time, but just becoming aware of your body cues. I feel my jaw clench, my stomach tighten, or my mom-voice starting to pitch faster and louder—these are my personal cues to just stop and take a breath. For many postpartum mothers, this disconnection also shows up as pelvic floor spasms—an overlooked but common issue that can affect physical comfort, intimacy, and self-awareness. Once I’m through the moment, I will note that I am beginning to reach a breaking point and I need some time with myself to be close and feel through whatever is going on inside.  Punctuate your days with small doses of self-care. My mom hacks are pretty well known in my household at this point. At the end of a long day with my young daughters, I sit on the edge of the bathtub and soak my feet while giving them a bath. It’s small, but it really calms and grounds me. It is an act of meeting my own needs while caring for them. Another one I love is keeping mason jars of simple nuts and organic dried fruits on my kitchen counter. When I’m starving, I grab from there instead of for the cookies or snack cupboard. It’s a way to nourish myself with real nutrition in the moment and on the fly when I don’t have time to sit down and eat a whole meal. Mom guilt is everywhere. You simply have to befriend it so it doesn’t control you. You will ALWAYS feel guilting and torn when you choose to meet your needs instead of tending to your child. It is the essence of your connection to motherhood and to your role in your childrens’ lives. It is a mark of how much you love and value them. Come to an agreement with your partner that you each take a certain amount of time away, alone, with friends (whatever it looks like for you), to meet your personal emotional needs with yourself. You simply have each other’s back and do it. The more you stick to this, the easier it gets and the mom guilt diminishes.  Intimacy with yourself is not always pretty. Often, the unmet needs you run into reveal a lot of sadness, fear or anger…these are not bad feelings. They are totally normal parts of being human, let alone a stressed-out human raising tiny humans. So, feeling is the gateway to closeness, to sifting through noise and becoming clear about what you need in order to keep thriving upward, on the grateful trajectory of loving your life and family. I can’t begin to tell you how many moms I have witnessed in class melting into tears. We all just need to cry sometimes because this job is HARD, and you are living at full emotional capacity ALL THE TIME. So, cry, feel, breathe—live in your body and notice. Let the messages in and then let them go. You don’t have to hold it all yourself. You can’t… none of us can. Intimacy with yourself is knowing yourself—body and mind—and knowing yourself over a lifetime journey that arcs, curves, expands, and contracts. Movement helps. Postpartum fitness and mindful movement are not just about rebuilding strength; they’re about reconnecting with yourself, feeling at home in your body again, and finding space to release, heal, and reclaim your own presence. Exhale. Lean in. The water is deep…but, it’s wonderful.

Your pelvic floor, the trampoline gauntlet, and cross-training for a lifetime of adventure.   One of the many profound awakenings that occur the moment you become a mother and meet your newborn is how much you suddenly understand your own mother’s life and behaviors—like why they never  jumped on a trampoline! These moments are what I refer to as, “aha—now I get why my mom was the way she was” epiphones.  And, in the vein of self-awareness and evolving together, I’m here to ask you today… When was the last time you jumped on a trampoline? It’s a very common tale. Our moms, grandmas, and best friends alike stopped jumping the second they delivered their first baby and we all just accepted that it was something our bodies just couldn’t do anymore, because, well…we’re moms.  I’m here to dispel those assumptions and challenge the status quo while getting you back on the trampoline, running those stairs, doing the jumping jacks and loving the body you live in.  For many women, difficulty with jumping postpartum isn’t just about weakness—it can also be due to pelvic floor dyssynergia, a condition where the pelvic floor muscles fail to coordinate properly. This imbalance can make activities like jumping, running, or even sneezing unexpectedly difficult. Here’s what you need to know about your pelvic floor and how it works as a part of your functional core. Plus, how to keep it strong, pliable, and rebounding for a lifetime of adventure. Your pelvic floor muscles are a system. They want to be trained, healed, and strengthened with the whole body, not alone in isolation. The first point of entry on your pelvic floor is actually your transversus abdominals (or TVA). They anatomically connect to your pelvic floor and are essential for lifting your upper body weight out of your pelvis. If your upper core is compromised (for example, you just gave birth), then your pelvic floor muscles are not only stretched and injured themselves, but they are bearing all the weight of your abdomen and upper body against the constant pull of gravity. This makes any increased pressure, like from jumping or sneezing, almost unbearable. Pelvic floor core exercises are key in stabilizing these muscles, allowing them to function properly and reducing issues like leakage or discomfort when jumping. So, the first step in long term pelvic floor health is recalibrating your abdominal pressure by training your TVA and pelvic floor to co-contract and release together.  See this video for a deeper tutorial. Tight pelvic floor muscles are a thing. If your muscles are tight or not moving, then they can’t perform the job they were intended for and a cycle of weakness and disengagement ensues. This tightness, known as pelvic floor hypertonia, is a common issue that can make high-impact movements like jumping or running feel nearly impossible. Tension in these muscles occurs most frequently as a result of scar tissue adhesion and restriction resulting from tearing, c-section or internal scarring that can go unnoticed at your regular check-ups. They can also become overly tight against the downward pressure of a weakened TVA/core system that is constantly bouncing, cradling, and lifting an increasingly heavy baby. This tightness puts a lot of pressure on your urinary tract and supporting muscles, often leading to incontinence, like when you jump or cough. Releasing your pelvic floor with diaphragmatic breathing and “RM Pelvic Corridor” functional strength-training is the first step in building reliable functioning muscles.   Kegels—let’s break it down. Our pelvic floor does not want to be strengthened like a bicep. Please STOP putting things in your vagina and squeezing them to “get stronger!” Your vaginal wall post-baby definitely needs to be re-toned, but it will take several months to a year, and is most effective when you are integrating your entire core system with breath, contractions, and release work. Remember, your pelvic floor does not want to just be tight. It’s like a soft, well-knit fabric that wants to stretch and rebound back into place.The RM Pelvic Corridor is how I cue a kegel—we start with breath, relaxation, and then isolating your transversus abs (because when they engage, they lift and support your pelvic floor as whole). Then, we add on by engaging the vaginal wall (I like to use the imagery of trying to lift a tampon that’s about to fall out) and then follow that contraction up the birth canal to your belly button. This is mental as much as physical. It takes as much effort to relax and isolate as it does to strength-train this muscle system. The payoff is a well-calibrated and reliable co-contraction of your foundational core that you can intentionally activate as you move forward in your overall cross-training—jump squats, anyone? Progress is achieved through consistency. Keep showing up and trust the process, especially on days when you’re tired because that’s when your muscles become the most passive. I often tell moms, if you get 2 contractions out of a set of 10 reps, then you’re doing it right. The next day, you’ll get 5, the next maybe only 1, but progressively, you are getting stronger and changing the way your body moves as a system. Do the work in your videos, and then challenge yourself to bring your pelvic corridor into action in your hardest mom’ing moments as well, like bending over the bathtub and picking up your child, climbing the stairs or running on the playground. This is how your core becomes a reliable part of your body and life.   You have to cross-train your body. Motherhood is so repetitively one-sided. You get wonky and won’t even realize how much you can’t do until you try to do a jumping jack and everything feels like it’s going to fall out. In RM, I have you doing jump squats by week 6—just little ones that keep nudging your forward and testing your strength. By Phase 2, we’re doing mountain climbers, wide leg squats, and yes…jumping jacks! It’s humbling work and SO satisfying to feel your body say “yes” and to realize you have the power to make positive change on way more than your body, but your mind, heart, and soul too. Everything works as one when it comes to happiness and health for your life and your family.  So, go on…take your kids to the trampoline park and take your pelvic corridor for a test drive! If you pee yourself, get over here and start with Day 1 of Phase 1 and then go back in 8 weeks and try again. Your mind will be blown, I promise!  

Reclaiming your sexual energy and pleasure post-baby. Do you experience pain while having sex? Are you avoiding being intimate since giving birth because you’re afraid it will hurt or feel different? Have you just been doing it to keep things steady in your marriage (but don’t really enjoy it)? If you can relate to any of the above statements, I want you to know that you’re NOT ALONE!  Fact: The medical term for feeling this is actually dyspareuniaand its diagnosis often qualifies you for pelvic PT. A leading cause of painful intercourse postpartum is pelvic floor spasm, a condition in which the muscles of the pelvic floor remain involuntarily contracted, making penetration uncomfortable or even impossible. According to a recent study conducted by PelvicCare, 1 in 3 women report pain during intercourse that actually worsened 2 or more years after delivering their last baby. This is a common side effect of childbirth and it often does not pass or go away on its own. But the good news is that it is very very treatable.   Here at RM, we are committed to disrupting fear and pain cycles that restrict women's lives and your ability to thrive. Sexual intimacy, pleasure, and vitality are essential components to thriving in your life and marriage. So, TMI is not a thing here—we are bringing these conversations forward, educating you about what you’re experiencing in your body, and providing effective tools to help you head back between the sheets and have fun…even if it’s just for 5 minutes before your kids wake up and crash the party! Pelvic Floor Function 101, Sex + Tools To Get Your Groove Back: Time is on your side, not your doctor’s. The 6 or 8 week postpartum check up is not your defining moment and is often misleading. Your body is totally not healed, though you may no longer need medical attention. And, as for being ready for exercise and sex at that exact moment, that’s just not true for the vast majority of women. The reality is, it takes some vulnerability to look at your body after you give birth. You’re going to discover at first, a body that looks and feels very different than before. So, take your time—this is your body, your timeline, and when you feel ready to share yourself with your partner again, then it’s the right time for you. A Lesson in Anatomy + Recovery. Your pelvic floor muscles are a network of tissues, muscles, blood vessels, ligaments and tendons. Post-vaginal or cesarean birth, this well-calibrated network needs time to recover and a few tools to help come alive again. When these muscles become chronically tight or overactive—known as pelvic floor hypertonia—it can lead to persistent discomfort, difficulty with penetration, and even urinary urgency or constipation. This actually starts in other parts of your body—rolling out your feet, breathing and moving your ribcage, mobilizing your pelvis and back. When your body feels easeful, the pelvic floor muscles relax and move as well. When you are stressed and not breathing, the most common human response is to retain that tension in your pelvic floor, hips, back and jaw muscles.   Pelvic floor tension is one of the most common causes for pain. It can feel a little confusing to have a weak and tight pelvic floor, but that is how muscles operate. When they are tight, they can’t engage and become weak, so surrounding muscles begin to tighten and overcompensate. For instance, your groin muscles and hip flexors will begin gripping to create stability in your pelvis when your central core and low-back waist are collapsing. Breath, soft foam rolling, and strengthening your transversus abdominal muscles all have exponential benefits when it comes to feeling your pelvic floor release and regain pleasurable sensation.   Scar tissue adhesions from tearing along your perineum, a c-section or internal scarring that may not be visible to outside observation. Scar tissue sticks to things which creates asymmetry in the surrounding areas, most notably in the pelvic floor. When the pelvic floor can not glide and move, it gets really tight (like when you throw your back out and can’t stand up straight). This is why, penetration of any kind can feel excruciating—the muscles simply can’t relax and stretch the way they normally would. Scar tissue also leads to other pelvic dysfunction like incontinence, organ prolapse, and diastasis recti. Your pelvic floor is part of a system. It’s important to understand that your body is a system and that your pelvic floor is part of it. When you have pain and pressure in your vaginal wall that makes penetrative sex painful you are most likely dealing with a combination of the above conditions. Good news is, when you start treating the whole system, all of the symptoms begin to improve together!  Where To Begin A pelvic physical therapist (not OT) that is specialized in manual and visceral manipulation. I look particularly for PT’s who are trained in the Jean Barral Method.  They should talk you through everything, listen to your concerns, and be in communication throughout the session so that any internal or external treatments are consented to and you know what is being worked on, released, and realigned.  Gentle postpartum recovery exercises that facilitate functional strengthening, but also integrate your emotional and mental health. For pelvic floor hypertonia and postpartum recovery, start with exercises that focus on releasing tension before strengthening, such as: Diaphragmatic breathing to encourage relaxation of the pelvic muscles. Pelvic tilts and bridges with a focus on slow, controlled movement. Soft tissue release with a therapy ball or gentle foam rolling around the hips and lower back. Mindful stretching to reduce tightness in the inner thighs and hip flexors. When you feel happy and relaxed, sex becomes more interesting and your body will respond more readily to the idea of intimacy and pleasure. Start in Phase 1, Week 1 of the RM App and discover your energy and creativity in all parts of your body and being. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Sexual intimacy is not solely defined by penetrative sex as one of my favorite clinical sexologists, Hani Avital, founder of Shelaah, shares in her work with women and couples. Sexual intimacy is about all of your sensual pleasure and senses being brought to life and stimulated together. Postpartum sexuality can become an awesome opportunity to awaken parts of your relationship that you never knew existed before.   Something To Remember Sexuality evolves and matures decade over decade. Post-baby, you may feel exhausted and have zero libido or you may feel the opposite and want to jump on your partner the second you’re alone. All experiences and desires are normal and there is no right or wrong way to live into your sexuality—it will ebb and flow over a lifetime.  But living with pain, restricting in shame, and silently suffering are formulas for total self-implosion. Breathe and relax. Your body is an incredible entity that is capable of healing, is powerful and resilient. Addressing pelvic floor spasm and hypertonia through breath, movement, and targeted therapy can restore your sexual wellness and confidence. Maturing within yourself, as motherhood often brings, can lead to you becoming more self-possessed, self-aware, and embodied, while experiencing greater pleasure and orgasms than you ever did before having kids. Get a mirror, take a look down there, and then let us know your questions. If you’re in need of a pelvic PT, send us a message and we’ll help you find one. Join our community and chat with other moms. Plus, it’s the month of love—what better time than to talk to your partner and let them know how you’re feeling.   Honesty has a way of smoothing the path to intimacy more than anything else.